after all the thoughts..

I thought alot these few days..
I listened..
I perceived..
I realized..
I obliged..
and now I'm adapting to it..
I opened up..
I let go..
I learnt..
I gather all the courage I had..
and I did it..
it wasn't that bad after all..
I'm content..
=)




*smack* get your lazy arse back to work!!!
*woops* I still have heaps to do!!!
I'm totally fucked..
upside down..
left to right..
vertically..
horizontally..
WTF!
got to run!

rock climbing was fatiguing..

rock climbing session was good.. but extremely exhausting as one could imagine.. what more me and Wan Yoe did it without any warming up session.. we're both smartie arse! LOL.. we successfully completed our 1st training course with the courtesy of Mr.Benjamin, our instructor.. and we at the age of 21 being instructed by a guy at the age of 18! *shamefaced* no no.. don't get me wrong.. we were not being discriminating.. really.. he was really professional.. he delivered his lessons really very.. all hail Benjamin! =)

have a look at the logo of the Nomad Adventure.. doesn't it resemble my tattoo?? everyone there was calling me the "Gecko Climber"! LOL, what a relationship and what a resemblance.. *winks* frankly speaking, I'm not too fond of this whole rock climbing thingy.. but I am doing this because of someone.. and my besties knows it best.. I'm just being egocentric at this.. I'm doing this to save my relationship.. I'm too self-centered cos I can't bear to lose.. losing him is excruciating.. so I guess these are the consequences that I have to pay..

Wan Yoe left early, and I was there climbing on my own.. the more I climb the more thoughts were rushing in.. like a pumping adrenaline.. I can feel all the pondering filling up my mind.. and there's barely a space left for me to breathe.. I was trying to breathe.. trying my best to gasp some air.. so I stopped and sat at a corner with my MP3 on.. questioning on my own questions over and over again.. do I really have to do this? why is he still pretending? why do I have to take all the blame and be discreet? is it worthy for the sake of this relationship? this is just so intimidating..

everyone is asking me.. is it worthy for me to love him this much when I know he's been pretending.. they even ask, do I really love him this much till I can bear to just take the blame and keep my fucking mouth shut.. all I can say is that I just don't wanna go another big round and to waste all the effort and time that I have put in.. I just wish time will turn everything around.. most importantly, I hope time will turn him around.. I know I am peerless to her.. I need some, I mean heaps of self-assurance.. to a point I just want to get rid of her from our lives.. hence, the most important thing is to get her off his mind.. I wanna rip and rupture their memories apart..

I'm good in putting on an act as well.. bare in mind that I am a good pretender too.. I can be very nice to you as if I don't give a fuck about you guys.. but don't.. DON'T ever exceed my limitations.. I am not as nice as you think I am.. I can be a fucked up bitch when it comes to this.. this relationship is crucial to me.. and he is my prominent.. my life is hanging on a thread now.. if it snaps.. then it's THE END!

Lessons learnt:

A PRETENDER
WILL
ALWAYS
BE A PRETENDER!

another care-free day..

shit.. today is the second day I'm loitering at home without doing anything.. i have tons of work waiting in line.. yet i don't know where to start.. been procrastinating like a bitch.. and i just realized i only have 8days left to complete my tasks!!! i should be totally dead by now.. here are the things that has to be done:

• furniture layout plan 1:50
• 2 sectional elevations 1:50
• 1 facade elevation 1:50
• 1 sectional detail 1:20
• 1 detail plan 1:20
• 3 blow-up details 1:1 to 1:5
• 2 perspective of different views
• 1 exterior perspective
• 2 perspective drawing on contrasting lights
• 2 models of contrasting material and colours 1:50
• 1 detail model 1:10/1:15
• graphic/signage details for exterior and interior
• 2 contrasting material boards A3

8 days to complete all these??? IF only i could complete a task a day.. well, will it make any differences??? the answer is FUCKING NO!!! THERE'S JUST FUCKING TO MUCH TO BE DONE!!! I'M TOTALLY FUCKED!!!

chill Cherie.. cool down.. don't blame yourself.. blame THAT FUCKING BITCH LECTURER!!! she's just so sucky u know.. *arghghh* anyway, i went shopping with mummy today.. *laugh out loud* was looking for attires.. i mean appropriate attires for my rock climbing session tomorrow with Wan Yoe.. *exited* found them and i bought them.. =) and another 3 more pairs of earrings to be added to my collection.. I'm just so keen on earrings!!!

my favourite pair!

the same pattern but different colour..


the surf board look a like..


weeeeee!!!
I'm just so fond of earrings!!!

being superstition

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

wow!!! impressive!!! i find this fucking true.. give it a try peeps! =)

i'm officially dead!

I despise myself greatly..

I don't know how to handle this and i don't know how to move on..

I feel half alive and I'm fully dead..

dishearten.. disgrace.. discriminating.. disgruntled..

how much more that i can handle???

feeling so down.. so tiny.. so flimsy..

I know I am an unintelligent lil creature..

but please spare me some air and earth to live..

stop being harsh.. irrespective.. hatred..

cos these pin me straight down to the ground..

I shattered easily..

I wanna get my feet back on the ground..

I just wish i could..

i lup u!

I'm in the terms of rushing my dissertation proposals now.. and my fucking neighbour (one floor down) is making hell alot of noises with his/her fucking radio!!! please people.. i need to concentrate.. i can't write if there's any slight distractions.. i can't even listen to any songs when I'm writing.. i need earplugs.. but i can't write with my earplugs on.. please turn down the volume or turn it off.. hate inconsiderate people.. hate you my stupid-unknown-neighbour! fuG!

baybee's still not feeling alright.. he has been sick for sometime already.. *sigh* please get well soon alright.. I'm really really worried bout you.. baybee, i lup you berry much!!! *muacks* *muacks* *muacks*

the neighbour finally turn off his/her radio.. *jumping gleefully* thanks fucking neighbour for your earlier distractions and for delaying my progress!

trip to Cameron Highland..

I'm back from Cameron.. the trip was not too bad.. but the weather was killing.. during daytime it's just like KL.. and it only turns better at night.. *sigh* the weather in Genting is much more appealing than Cameron, at least.. well, everyone get to have fun to gather around.. the night market was good.. and i didn't know I'll get to spend so much there.. i bought heaps of flowers.. strawberries and other stuffs.. but i didn't get to buy my gecko pillow!!! *sigh* hope it'll still be there the next time i visit.. I'm lazy to blog now.. so just let the pictures do the blogging..

daddy and me at the waterfall..

me and mummy at the waterfall..

me and daddy at the strawberry farm..


with all the lil cousins..


me and mummy at the temple..


me, sis and louise..

sis and me..

not to forget it's Zach birthday yesterday (06-05-2007).. happy birthday bro-in-law.. hope u'll have a great one there! =)

spidey movie!!!

finally get to watch Spiderman III today.. the movie was absolute but the audience in the cinema were totally absurd!!! they were so damn fucking noisy and they just wouldn't keep their mouth shut.. including the kids (definitely not to be forgiven).. their parents are just plain dumb.. can't they just handle their kids properly and teach them the right attitude especially when they are in a god damn cinema..

and you know what.. the majority of these nuisance are all Malays.. no offence and i am not being racist.. these typical type of people are just pain in the arses.. they can wit away as tough everyone else has ear plugs in their ears.. they stare at u as tough u were blind and u won't know that they are starring.. but when u give them the cold stare back, they make as if they were invisible! this is how annoying these people are..

culture.. culture.. culture.. just blame the culture for these upbringings.. hope they can just respect others and keep their mouth shut when they are in a cinema.. thank god the movie was for free.. but me and baybee have to devour to large spidey meals from burger king in order to get these two free tickets.. and we nearly couldn't get the tickets due to some unforeseen circumstances.. anyhow, the free movie passes comes with goodie bags.. and baybee was truly contented with the VIP passes.. LOL..

the goodie bag consist of a poster.. a fridge magnet.. a pen.. and the VIP passes..


here's the free passes..

dinner was at Wong Kok.. and the food there really sucks.. KimGary is so much more better than them.. banned banned banned Wong Kok @ 1 Utama!!! baybee's not feeling too good today.. *sigh* I'm really worried bout him.. tomorrow I'll be leaving to Cameron and i won't be able to take care of him.. hope he'll recover real soon.. *tight hugs* love u baybee.. till then, I'll be back blogging with loads of strawberries.. =)

amanda's 21st birthday bash!

it's AMANDA'S 21ST BIRTHDAY BASH TODAY!!! happy birthday girl!!! and not to forget it is me and baybee's 3rd monthsary!!! happy anniversary baybee boy.. i love u so much! *muacks* her birthday party was held at Subang's Windmill.. the party was really cool when most of the people turn up wearing something white.. which is Amanda's theme for her beloved party.. =) and most of all it was fun to gather back with all the long lost friends and have a good laugh together..

cherie, suet sum, amanda (birthday gal), mei chi and magdalene..


manda looks so pwetty!!! *hugs*


chin cheun the pro-photographer and me..


shantose, me and hou yang..


back: hou yang, eugene and kenneth
front: suet sum, kim and cherie


suet sum, cherie and jolynn..


all good looking seafield-ians!!!


suet sum, kim and me..


kim and cherie.. it's been a while girl! =)


us looking good in white! =)

baybee was really busy today.. only get to see him a while.. but anyhow, happy monthsary dear! anyway, that's all for now.. i really had a wonderful time tonight.. thanks manda!!! *muacks*