rock climbing was fatiguing..

rock climbing session was good.. but extremely exhausting as one could imagine.. what more me and Wan Yoe did it without any warming up session.. we're both smartie arse! LOL.. we successfully completed our 1st training course with the courtesy of Mr.Benjamin, our instructor.. and we at the age of 21 being instructed by a guy at the age of 18! *shamefaced* no no.. don't get me wrong.. we were not being discriminating.. really.. he was really professional.. he delivered his lessons really very.. all hail Benjamin! =)

have a look at the logo of the Nomad Adventure.. doesn't it resemble my tattoo?? everyone there was calling me the "Gecko Climber"! LOL, what a relationship and what a resemblance.. *winks* frankly speaking, I'm not too fond of this whole rock climbing thingy.. but I am doing this because of someone.. and my besties knows it best.. I'm just being egocentric at this.. I'm doing this to save my relationship.. I'm too self-centered cos I can't bear to lose.. losing him is excruciating.. so I guess these are the consequences that I have to pay..

Wan Yoe left early, and I was there climbing on my own.. the more I climb the more thoughts were rushing in.. like a pumping adrenaline.. I can feel all the pondering filling up my mind.. and there's barely a space left for me to breathe.. I was trying to breathe.. trying my best to gasp some air.. so I stopped and sat at a corner with my MP3 on.. questioning on my own questions over and over again.. do I really have to do this? why is he still pretending? why do I have to take all the blame and be discreet? is it worthy for the sake of this relationship? this is just so intimidating..

everyone is asking me.. is it worthy for me to love him this much when I know he's been pretending.. they even ask, do I really love him this much till I can bear to just take the blame and keep my fucking mouth shut.. all I can say is that I just don't wanna go another big round and to waste all the effort and time that I have put in.. I just wish time will turn everything around.. most importantly, I hope time will turn him around.. I know I am peerless to her.. I need some, I mean heaps of self-assurance.. to a point I just want to get rid of her from our lives.. hence, the most important thing is to get her off his mind.. I wanna rip and rupture their memories apart..

I'm good in putting on an act as well.. bare in mind that I am a good pretender too.. I can be very nice to you as if I don't give a fuck about you guys.. but don't.. DON'T ever exceed my limitations.. I am not as nice as you think I am.. I can be a fucked up bitch when it comes to this.. this relationship is crucial to me.. and he is my prominent.. my life is hanging on a thread now.. if it snaps.. then it's THE END!

Lessons learnt:

A PRETENDER
WILL
ALWAYS
BE A PRETENDER!